I guess three months ago, I didn’t understand that. I didn’t understand that some goodbyes could be so sincere, so permanent. I didn’t understand that when your lover and your bestfriend were the same person, once you lost one side of them, you’d lose the other as well. I wish I wouldv’e known that I’d never hear from you again because sometimes, I still miss you. I want to call you and ask you how much you like high school, how you’re doing. I just need to know that you’re okay, I need to know you’re hanging in there and being the wonderful person you can be. Somedays, I’m so desperate to hear your voice again, so desperate to call you and tell you that although it’s too late, I’m sorry, that if I had know then what I know now, everything wouldv’e turned out different. I want to apologize for all the times I cut you down, for the times I ruined you, rather wrecked you. I understand it now, it was wrong. I shoudlv’e kept you close to my heart, in a safe safe place. I shoudlv’e told you how much you meant to me while you were still here. I shoudlv’e told you that I loved you more than I had ever love anyone else before. I understand a lot more now, I wish you’d come back. There was too much I didn’t get to say.
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